来自:查字典高考网 2014-12-25
Original
During 1955 to 1975, the mortgage interest rate gradually increase from 5% to 8% and then followed by a dramatic increase from 1975 to 1985 to a peak of 20%. After that, it drops sharply from 1985 to 1995 to a bottom of 8% and then it growth up to 10% in 1995. However, it drops again from 1995 to 1998.
Edit
During 1955 to 1975, the average mortgage interest rate gradually from 5% to 8% and then followed by a dramatic increase from 1975 to 1985 to a peak of 20%. After that, it drops dropped sharply from between 1985 to and 1995 to a of at 8% and then after which it growth up rose to 10% in 1995 . However, it drops again from
Final
During 1955 to 1975, the average mortgage interest rate gradually increased from 5% to 8% followed by a dramatic increase from 1975 to 1985 to a peak of 20%. After that, it dropped sharply between 1985 and 1995 reaching the bottom at 8% after which it rose to 10% in 1996. However, it dropped again from 1995 (10%) to 1998 (9%).
Comments:
Remember to use the past when talking about actions that are finished in the past. I altered some parts not because they were wrong , but because it is better to use a little variety in your descriptions. It is good that you mentioned the peak and bottom, and that you described the trends without worrying about every little change.
Note that the graph shows the AVERAGE mortgage interest rate.
【雅思考试写作评改一例】相关文章:
★ 雅思写作修改一例
[标签:海外留学,语言考试,雅思]
探秘历史 第二季 第479集 河南叛逆高考生,写下8000字批判作文,现状如何?
高中语文知识清单高考语文总複习工具书第5次修订五全綵版五三曲一线科学备考基础知识手册知识大集结资料书参考书导书高一高二高三
学渣儿子高考,英语选择题全选B!老师通报成绩的那一刻父亲懵了
高考阅卷名师给考生的高考作文密训课 第4集 高考作文审题实操方法精讲(二)
高考阅卷名师给考生的高考作文密训课 第3集 高考作文审题实操方法精讲(一)
北京新闻 2019 5.9万余北京考生今日高考 语文试题鼓励创造性阅读与表达
高考体育四项生的日常训练——深蹲移动跳:发展膝关节,踝关节力量。
优秀!英语数学双满分,广西“最牛”高考状元730分刷新最高纪录
探秘历史 第二季 第211集 此人高考数学考了0分,因作文写3句话被重点大学录取
创艺第二届:2019届高考录取表彰大会暨“核桃音乐节”合影——你只管努力,剩下的交给创艺
amc传媒音乐影像 第一季 第598集 西安原创乐队走进英泰青卓 用音乐助力高考学子
2019全国高考志愿填报攻略 第50集 天津市高考历史三年本科录取排名