来自:查字典高考网 2014-12-25
Original
During 1955 to 1975, the mortgage interest rate gradually increase from 5% to 8% and then followed by a dramatic increase from 1975 to 1985 to a peak of 20%. After that, it drops sharply from 1985 to 1995 to a bottom of 8% and then it growth up to 10% in 1995. However, it drops again from 1995 to 1998.
Edit
During 1955 to 1975, the average mortgage interest rate gradually from 5% to 8% and then followed by a dramatic increase from 1975 to 1985 to a peak of 20%. After that, it drops dropped sharply from between 1985 to and 1995 to a of at 8% and then after which it growth up rose to 10% in 1995 . However, it drops again from
Final
During 1955 to 1975, the average mortgage interest rate gradually increased from 5% to 8% followed by a dramatic increase from 1975 to 1985 to a peak of 20%. After that, it dropped sharply between 1985 and 1995 reaching the bottom at 8% after which it rose to 10% in 1996. However, it dropped again from 1995 (10%) to 1998 (9%).
Comments:
Remember to use the past when talking about actions that are finished in the past. I altered some parts not because they were wrong , but because it is better to use a little variety in your descriptions. It is good that you mentioned the peak and bottom, and that you described the trends without worrying about every little change.
Note that the graph shows the AVERAGE mortgage interest rate.
【雅思考试写作评改一例】相关文章:
★ 雅思写作修改一例
★ 雅思写作实战篇范文之spending time on TV
★ 雅思写作词汇要求
[标签:海外留学,语言考试,雅思]
北京新闻 2019 5.9万余北京考生今日高考 语文试题鼓励创造性阅读与表达
衍声高考琴行2019高本硕学生暑假音乐会 张俊瀚《陕北民歌主题变奏曲》《阿根廷舞曲》第三乐章
优秀!英语数学双满分,广西“最牛”高考状元730分刷新最高纪录
2019全国高考志愿填报攻略 第50集 天津市高考历史三年本科录取排名
爆笑班主任 第一季 第220集 高考前最后一只视频,山东王老师揭秘高考的秘密
他高考作文仅得6分,总分428分,被985高校录取,却被导师拒绝!
张雪峰高考志愿填报指南 第47集 高考志愿,令人头疼的数学系,才是专业万金油,毕业后机会多